24 April 2009

For Those In Authority

For those who were looking for the videos in the old Celtic Man post through the link in the last post, I've replaced the broken video links with different (not necessarily better) videos from Youtube. Also, I've added new commentary.

So I went in for my ultrasound on Tuesday to see what's what. They found no signs of any abnormalities associated with Trisomy 13 or 18, so that's good news. They did find an enlarged stomach (the baby's, not mine, although I'm certain they noticed that as well) though, which can be associated with Downs Syndrome. However, given that when I had my Downs Syndrome screening I came out with a lower chance of it than when I went into the screening, they're basically ruling that out as a possibility. Worst case scenario is the baby has a blockage in the intestines which would be fixed with surgery as soon after birth as possible. But more likely than that, there's just a bunch of amniotic fluid in there that hasn't passed out of the stomach and into the bladder yet. So I go back in five weeks to be looked at again to see if it's any smaller. Hey, could be worse.

Good news folks! My blood pressure went down slightly, but the OB wasn't nearly as thrilled about this as I was since it's supposed to go down in the second trimester anyway. But I was in the second trimester when it was going up, so I still claim it as a good sign that all of you stealing my child is working. Thank you so much! And even though she keeps asking me why I keep taking her to her friends' houses (can you guess how often she saw her friends before?), she's still thrilled either way. Thanks to all of you givers out there. And for all of you non-givers, I totally don't blame you. Honest.

Speaking of Peawhistle, she had a bit of a run-in with her instructors at gymnastics a week ago. Because these people serve peanuts directly out of their vending machines, I can't keep Peanut in the waiting room while we wait for PW's class to get over. So I drop off PW and Peanut and I drive around or go to the grocery store or whathaveyou until her class is nearly done and then we go hang out in the doorway for five minutes until she comes out. Every week. Yes, it's just as fun as you're imagining. Anyway, when I went to greet her at the door as she was coming out her instructor (20-ish; surly) informed me that PW had been "nasty" to her teachers that day on the beam. Now, I've seen PW be a little jerk before, but it's almost always completely unintentional. I've never seen her do anything I would label as outright nasty behavior. She's a good kid who has absolutely no tact and very strong opinions (more on that below). But nasty? Hm. So I asked her what she did and apparently PW had been trying to walk across the beam as instructed, but when the teachers went to take her hand to help her across, PW insisted most strenuously and none-too-kindly that she wanted to do it by herself and she didn't need their help. And when they grabbed for her hand anyway, she tried to slap it away. Now, the slapping is inexcusable. I don't tolerate that crap. I've seen her do it many, many times mind you, usually to me, but that doesn't mean it's OK. So I made her apologize to her teachers for being mean, I chastized her all the way home, her father lectured her when he got home, and I reminded her throughout the week that she has to be nice to her teachers because they're there to help her and keep her safe, not hinder her independence as she suspects, and they know what's safe and she doesn't. I told her about her older cousin who was doing something across the beam and wasn't being spotted when she fell and broke...some limb, I can't recall. Not important. Anyway, I think I got the point across. So all week I reminded her that she was to be nice to the teachers and that if she was mean even one more time she would be pulled out of gymnastics permanently.

So this week I asked a kind lady at church to babysit Peanut at home so I could sit and watch PW to make sure she wouldn't wield havoc on the entire gymnasium. And as I watched her walk across the beam all by herself (something she used to refuse to do out of fear) with her teachers merely watching her, I realized why she got upset: she actually CAN do it alone and she knew it. And I was reminded of something Peter's mother, Jenny, said a long time ago. Jenny, Greta, and I were sitting around talking about our kids behind their backs and Jenny said that PW is a very good, sweet kid who plays well on her own and is very nice to others, etc. But she does NOT like being told what to do. And it hit me that that is PW's biggest problem in general when it comes to why she gets in trouble at home or anywhere else. She's a great kid right up until you tell her to do something. And then her head spins around and fire shoots from her eyes and we wind up having to call in the exorcist. AGAIN. And then I realized with a mixture of horror and pride that I am exactly the same way. I mean, exactly. For example:

Poor, unsuspecting individual: "Peawhistle, would you please help me clean up the toys?"
Peawhistle: "Why, sure!" (actually, she says "shee-you-er;" she has the weirdest accent)
PUI: "Peawhistle, clean up the toys."

PUI: "Hey Abby, would you volunteer to help out with so-and-so some time?"
Me: "Yeah, I'll look at my calendar and see what I can do."
PUI: "Abby, I need you to do this."
Me: "Yeah, well I need you to go to hell."

You see what I'm getting at. Essentially, we both have a major problem with authority, and I in particular have a problem with those who believe erroniously they hold some authority over me but have yet to prove how this is possible in any way or fashion. And I will gladly tell them this. Peawhistle hasn't yet developed a sense for who actually has authority over her and who does not, but she is sure as hell certain that it doesn't include everyone who's telling her they do. That's my girl.

So my point in telling you all this is to serve as my private warning, particularly to those very kind individuals who have volunteered to take her for an afternoon and have yet to discover for themselves what it's like to order her to do something. Because that sweet smiling face that you all can't believe could turn hideously deformed in a second? Believe you me, it's there. Waiting. Waiting for you to screw up your courage enough to test her limits.

For the record, PW behaved wonderfully in gymnastics this week, doing everything she was told to do, including taking her instructors' hands while on the beam when they dared stretch it forward to her. It took convincing her they were there for her safety and not just because they were jerks who like to boss her around. Safety: cool; bossing: screw you, lady. So don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I am now taking name suggestions for the newest Pea-? in our blogpod. I liked Kristi's "SweetPea" suggestion from ages ago, but I'm also open to other ideas. Anything?


Heidi said...

Hmm, PW and Marianne could be twins. Only now that she's seven, she doesn't take well to even polite requests. I hear "You can't tell me what to do!" at least twice a day. Can't wait until she's sixteen.

Congrats on having another girl!!! I like SweetPea so I have no other suggestions for a name. By the way, would you like me to send you our fancy swaddle blanket? Kyle has grown out of it and it would save you 30 bucks. (Or at least you would have an extra if you need to wash one or something.) Least I can do since you recommended it to me in the first place.

Abby said...

Oh my goodness, Heidi, I would LOVE to have your Miracle Blanket! You are too kind and generous. I'm so glad it worked for you, even if only for a little while.

Serin said...

Congratulations, Abby! Glad BabyGirl looks good (even if she did swallow too much fluid) and that your BP is going down a little.

Greta said...

wow, thanks for the warning. not like i'm nervous enough to watch your kid... just kidding. i will however be quite aware of how i phrase my sentences from now on.

oh, and can you tell your kid that we really aren't that bad. yesterday PW kept getting dandelions and blowing on them then saying "i wish we were at JJ's house, i wish we were at JJ's house." after a while i felt so bad that i just wanted to take her to JJ's house... hee hee hee.
finally, (i swear) i think sweetpea is also a good name. so there you are. have a great day.

Abby said...

Sorry about that Greta. She'd never been to your house before, but gosh if she doesn't love J.J.'s house to death. If it helps she wishes she were other places when she's with me, too.

it's just lisa said...

OH MY GOODNESS! It all makes sense now. When I close my eyes at night I can see you siting behind the primary piano rolling your eyes at me and NOW I GET IT. I say "play that part again" and you look at me like you are planing murder (and then play it again so beautifully). But I see that I have failed to ASK you to play it again. Oh, that's funny. I'm going to miss the dirty looks.

Congrats on the girl thing:) I'm happy for you.

Abby said...

Oh, that's not it at all. In my mind you're my boss and thus have some degree of authority over me. You tell me to play and I'll play, even without actually asking me politely to do so. You're probably getting a look because I'm sick to death of playing the same song 17 times in a row, and that won't change no matter how nicely you ask.

Stephanie B said...

Abby, what do you thing about the name "Poo-pea"? I think its sweet and very descriptive of your little one.

I love the story of PW. I can picture her doing all of those things. I have been the recipient of the "No, no, no, no, no!" She just says it so sweetly and high-pitched that it makes me smile.

Bonny said...

I've only ever heard her say the "shee-you-er" part, so I guess I'm already a pro at communicating with your child. Just kidding.

So funny that the gymnastics coaches freaked out. I didn't think what she did sounded all that bad. She's a strong, independent woman and she knows it. What's wrong with that?

YEAH for another girl! Don't you love how doctors are like, "Something might be awfully wrong with your child. Probably not, but come back in a million years and will check again." At least, that's what 5 or 6 weeks feels like to me when they're waiting to check on stuff like that. My pregnancy with Thatcher was full of those. First it was, "you might have miscarried--see you in two weeks." Then it was, "your baby might have hydrocephalus, come back in 6 weeks. Oh, and in the meantime, keep your blood pressure down!" Thanks, doc.

And I love the name SweetPea. Do you think your children will think she's your favorite later in life when they enthusiastically read all your posts? I mean, poor Peanut will say, "You nicknamed me after my food item archnemesis, and here my sister is SweetPea???"

Jenny said...

Just wanted to say that JJ's house is really cool. Wild and crazy all the time:)

Jenny said...

I forgot to mention I love the name Poo-Pea. That is what we used to call my niece whose diaper overflowed all over Troy in a movie theater once. Good times!

Stephanie B said...

JJs house is so cool because they have so many toys!

Jody said...

You should print this post and give it to all future teachers of PW. Maybe just pin it to her on the first day of school. I think it would really help the teachers. ;)

Congrats on the baby girl! I'm quite fond of Sweet Pea, but cracked up when I heard the other suggestion of Poo Pea!

Abby said...

I do appreciate the PooPea one, but Pooper was PW's nickname (because she pooped like crazy and she was a major party-pooper in general) and I think it's just a little too close.

Remember Bonny, I named Peanut Peanut long before we knew he had any freaky allergies. It just happened to be supremely ironic that he wound up actually being allergic to his nickname.

Jacob and Mindy T. said...

oh man! That must be my son's problem. He has the same attitude as PW! Congrats on the baby girl! Looks like we are both gonna have new princess peas. :) (Don't know if you have a show called Super Why on your stations but my son watches it all the time and there is a princess pea on it.)