Next Time Splurge on the Fruit-of-the-Looms

I ran across a couple of images a long time ago when temporary crazy infiltrated my brain and I thought for a second that I could actually sew men's pajamas. Fortunately, that idea went away, but the images I found have stayed in my files for some time and I've decided now is the time to share them.

Image The First

I imagine the thought process leading up to this gem as something like the following:

"You know, my husband needs new underwear, but darn it, those department stores are so expensive, what with their fancy elastic waistbands and cottons and such. And what if I needed to make them out of Polyester or faux fur?? Where am I then?"

Who the hell makes their own underwear? And tighty-whities no less? Olive green tighty-whities even.

Image The Second

I'm going to show this next one without explanation. Be sure and compare their "detail" box with the actual photo. Enlarge the photo by clicking on it if you need to. Take your time.

Now that we're all on the same page with the inappropriateness and such, I won't mention it further other than to use this as the preamble to a personal story.

Back when I was a young whippersnapper at BYU I lived in an apartment complex. I'm sure most apartment complexes/student congregations did something similar, but I never cared to check so I'll just stick with my own experience. In our complex we had what we called a Meet Directory, which everyone usually referred to as a "Meat Directory," what with the photos and names of every available person in the thing available for all to peruse and stalk. They usually lined us all up at the beginning of the school year and snapped our mug shots for this thing and a few weeks later the directory came out.

It must have been several weeks into the semester when I was leafing through the Meat Directory, noting those students who had failed to have their photo taken. In lieu of a photo these people had random designs in their box-that-would-be-a-photo. I was taken aback by one fellow's random design, thinking it looked awfully familiar. It finally dawned on me that the random design was my fricking shirt. As in, you could have taken this guy's design and put it directly beneath my own picture and it would have made a complete picture. And not only was it my shirt, but it was a picture of my boobular region specifically. My roommates were never so pleased to see this and one of them who knew the guy who put the directory together had him come over immediately. He apologized after I pointed out my boobs to him (the ones in the picture, not the ones on me at the time) and he explained that after taking our photos from the chest up they cut out just the heads and let the rest fall to the floor. In looking for something to put in place of this fellow's face, he looked down on the pile of cuttings, saw an interesting design, and inserted it.

It's not so much that the entire complex stared at my boobs for the rest of the school year in place of this guy's face, but the fact that Roommate's Friend didn't even realize they were boobs in the first place. *sigh* Cow lady, you have my sympathies. Except for the part where you agreed to dress up in cow pajamas and have your photo taken.

While I was searching for a higher resolution of cow lady's "detailed" photo I came across this interesting lass:

There's just something about that pose that seems just so wrong. Can't...quite...put my toe on it. Ah well, it'll come to me.