24 February 2009

Gettin' Jiggy Wit It

No, I haven't decided to post more. My life is just that much more exciting this week. Quit inviting me to stuff.

So our church had a dance last Saturday night with a it's-not-a-valentine's-dance-despite-all-the-hearts-and-crap-you-see-everywhere theme. Greta and I decorated for the event and were quite pleased to receive so many positive comments. And by "so many" I mean two grade school kids said it looked awesome. Hey, we're here to please.

You all know my thoughts on dancing, as I've expressed them in the past here. Bonny and I were comparing our various thoughts on the subject later in the evening and I told her what I'm going to tell you now: watching me dance is a terribly unsettling experience. I recall enjoying dancing at one point in my life. I danced at a wedding once as a young teenager, later saw the video, decided it was the most disturbing thing I'd ever seen in my life, and vowed to never subject another to such a sight ever again, including myself. I am not a good dancer. If I honestly can't resist the beat of a great song, I'll bob my head. Otherwise...no. So I sat at a table and instead enjoyed myself immensely watching other people who are far more talented than I dance for my personal pleasure. I was especially impressed with Jody and her husband getting their groove on, because they are wonderful dancers. I was also fascinated to learn that neither Stephanie nor Kristen have any shame at all whatsoever. Good for them, I say! Let it all hang out!

Towards the end, our DJ, Ryan (who happens to be Bonny's husband), played one of the songs I'd requested earlier: The Hustle by Van McCoy. You can't go wrong with The Hustle. The Husband was at one time quite the bar-hopping dancer in his day and when I mentioned the song earlier he treated me to a move or two. As always, I was delighted. As I sat next to a friend at the table at the dance, she leaned over and said, "Hey, wasn't there a dance that went with this song?" I said, "Yeah, the Husband said it went something like this..." and I proceeded to do a jerking arm motion or two to prove to her I wasn't lying. Two seconds later, Ryan stopped the music mid-song and inquired, "OK, does anyone actually know how to do the Hustle? I mean, besides Abby who's doing it at the table there at the back?" I was horrified that the entire dance floor of people then turned to stare at me, and even more so when he suggested I get up and teach them how to do the Hustle, which as I've explained, I only know like, two moves from. Personally, I was impressed that Ryan guessed what I was attempting to do at the time, let alone that he noticed I was doing it at all, given the quick and amateurish performance I had displayed to my table partner. I waved him and the whole fricking group off (really, for their own good) and they proceeded to dance however they wanted to, which is how it should have been anyway. I still like the song. Gets my head a-bobbin'.

Finally, DJ Ryan came to the end of the evening with his final as-yet unannounced song, and commanded everyone that this would be a full participation song. And I shivered to myself as I realized that there was only one song that had not been played yet, would be reserved to the end of a dance full up with white people, and that requires "full participation." Ryan said, "And that includes you, too, Abby." I responded, "IT BETTER NOT BE YMCA." And he said, "It IS YMCA." And the dance ended on a low note. I was curious to note that Kristen, who I mentioned was completely devoid of any self-consciousness as far as I could detect, also refused to dance to YMCA because she hates that song. So she has my approval, both for that and the fact that she clearly doesn't care what people think of her.

And in case you all were curious:

18 comments:

it's just lisa said...

ah ha! Thank you for posting the instructional video. I think the dancer may have been my husband, I will have to ask him when he gets home.

Abby said...

If that is, he has some rockin' attire there. Is that what he changes into after work?

Jody said...

I had no idea that the hustle was so involved!! (Evelyn told me that my "computering" woke her up from her nap. I guess I'll have to be a little quieter as I learn these steps.... HA!) I never have heard of half of those--walk here, then there, do the eggbeater and chicken, stand on your head, smile.... Good thing I didn't attempt any of this at the dance or I would have been on the floor with my legs tied in a knot. Maybe we should have The Husband come and demonstrate next year.... :)

Bonny said...

As much as I loved that instructional video, I would have loved it ten times more if you had filmed your own version. Most amusing take on the dance. I was also impressed by Jody and Kristin's unabashed dancing skills. Jenny was also quite impressive. And I'm sorry the dance ended on a sour note for you. Just think, It could have been Cotton Eye Joe, which I think is much worse.

Stephanie B said...

Abby - you dance unashamedly when you dance as well as I do. Actually in college we did a little dance video to ask some guys to MORP. When I watched it later I was appalled with my flayling arms. I didn't look nearly as cool as I felt. That's my whole life in a nutshell.

I would have given anything to see The Husband performing the Hustle. Do you do private shows?

Abby said...

Did you miss the part where I don't dance anymore? At all? Even alone? So no, I don't dance unashamedly because I don't dance, period. So there.

For everyone who's requesting a dancing show put on by the Husband, you should know that he no longer dances seriously. When the booze went out the door before we dated, so also went the dancing. Without the buzz he just doesn't do it anymore. So no, I don't think you'll ever convince him to do it. Well, unless you offered him cash. He'd probably do it then.

Stephanie B said...

Would $10 be enough?

Abby said...

Probably. Let him review the moves first and then ask him.

Stephanie B said...

How about $10 and some cookies... that'll sweeten the deal. Get it? Sweeten?

Abby said...

No, I'm a little slow. Please come here and draw me a picture so I can follow your logic.

Stephanie B said...

You see, the cookies are sweet and so there for "sweetening the deal" - the cookies would be make the deal both better and sweeter - its called a pun. :)

Abby said...

Oh my goodness...I had no idea you were such a comedic genius! Get out of here with your clever puns and such! Quick, write something hilarious!

Jenny said...

I just wanted to note that it was my two most darling grade schoolers who complimented your decorating expertise. They are so gracious and well mannered. Must be the excellent breeding.

Jacob and Mindy T. said...

LOVE the instructional video. He's quite the dancer huh?!

greta said...

i must say we did do quite the job decorating. whether it was good or not is another question...
as for the dance itself, i found myself strangely happy and dancing to most of the songs. that is, between the over eating mouthfuls of food i consumed through out the night. i didn't even noticed the awful v-day decor surrounding me.
you are right about the dancers. i was surprised to see so many people dancing like there was no church the next day for people to mock them at. i probably would have danced more if 1. there wasn't so much dang good food and 2. i didn't have one or another child CONSTANTLY hanging on me the whole night.
i was pretty disappointed to not see you dance. i can't believe that i missed the whole last dance thing! dang it and my leaving to put my kids to sleep! next time i will make them stay up.

Melissa said...

The only songs I ever dance to are "YMCA" and "I Will Survive" (not that there's a particular dance for that, it's just a girl-thing). The last time I went anywhere and requested "I Will Survive", the DJ said, "We've had a request for "I Will Survive", but I'm not playing it because THIS ISN'T A GAY BAR!!!!

Abby said...

No Greta, you were not disappointed to not see me dance. Trust me.

Melissa: Ha!

greta said...

no abby, i REALLY would like to see you dance. you've built it up so much that i think it would either be not as bad as you say, or highly entertaining.
by-the-way, did you get the baby vac yet? i don't know how this will sound but i think of you every time i see my kids sucking out their snot. i'm curious and worried how you will like it.