I'm not excited about this post, I will tell you right now. So you shouldn't get excited either. But I have nothing else to write about, or rather nothing I actually want to take the time to write about right now, so this is what you're getting.
So I had a dream the other night (are you peeing with excitement yet?). Allow me to tell you about it, won't you?
Brian Williams and I were partners in a cake decorating class together. We decided to go with an Air Force One theme on ours (we're nerdy!) and I went off to find a model of the aircraft so we could make one for our cake. As dream-like luck would have it, a fellow running a presidential tourist shop was operating within our classroom.
Me: Excuse me, do you have a model of Air Force One amongst your wares?
Him: A model of what?
Me: Air Force One.
Him: I don't know what that is.
Me: You're joking of course. Please be serious.
Him: No, I don't know what an air force one is.
Me: It's the most photographed aircraft in the entire world, you run a U.S. presidential nicknack shop, and you've never heard of Air Force One before??
Him: Don't get sassy with me lady, I don't know what it is!
Me: Bad news, Brian. No luck.
Brian: *Sigh* OK, well then I guess it'll have to be orcas.
Me: ...as in, killer whales?
Brian: YES, you KNOW that's what Oprah wanted, so let's get started.
Oprah: I do love those orcas!
Me: Fine. Orcas. And how are we supposed to make those?
Brian: Fondant of course. Duh.
Me: FONDANT?? AHHHHGGGGGGGGG, I HATE FONDANT!!!
If I recall, I woke up hating fondant even more than I did before, if that's at all possible. DAMN YOU BRIAN WILLIAMS. AND OPRAH, COME TO THINK OF IT.
Did I ever tell you that the ONE thing I told the idiot who did our wedding cake to do was to frost the cake instead of using fondant because I HATE fondant? Hey, hey, hey, guess what he used instead of frosting? And guess what pissed me off royally when I saw the wedding cake at my reception? And guess which words I was thinking of as I pinched a fake smile across my face when the Husband and I cut into our cake?