Be Funny or Else!

OK, here's the deal. As many of you now know, a young couple, Christian and Stephanie Nielson, barely survived a serious airplane crash and now have extensive burns over a good portion of their bodies. A recovery fund has been set up to help pay for medical expenses and the care of their children while they remain in the hospital for a number of months. An explosion of concern has swept the blogging community, including at one blog I stalk, Navel Gazing at Its Finest. As a fund raising gesture, Navel Gazing, et al, is creating a blog book with proceeds to be donated to the recovery fund for the Nielsons. Entry into the blog book is a contest of sorts, the details to be found here. Basically, they're looking for funny stuff. And by stuff, they mean blog entries, previously posted or not, less than 1500 words. The deadline for submissions is September 30th; all entries can be emailed to sometimeslifeisfunny at gmail dot com. If your post is selected you make it into the book and you then have to buy said book. Also, if the post you submit is new material (unposted) and it happens to be the funniest thing she's read by this Friday, you get $50 from Navel Gazing. So by all means, write away.

Here's my dilemma. First problem: the submissions have to be funny. If they're not deemed funny enough they'll be rejected. Second problem: it's pretty hard to be funny on demand and with a deadline. While I don't need the $50, I would love to submit something new, but I can't think of a frickin' thing to write about. That leaves something I've already published, except I have no idea what's funny in my blog and what isn't. The things that have cracked me up have gone largely unnoticed and things I found only mildly amusing or a complete failure were met with a several compliments. Clearly, I'm only funny on accident (which is about par for the course).

So to all three of my beloved readers I submit this plea to you: if you had to choose a favorite post (i.e. one you found the least offensive to your sensibilities) what would it be? Failing finding anything remotely funny in my archives, what would you have me write about? And while you're at it, submit something of your own. You could get published in a book! W00t!

Note: photos are discouraged, which means posts that rely heavily upon photos (like the Dora cake post) would probably be rejected simply based upon that alone.

2nd Note: I can rewrite any post to make it fit the requirements and any post that is not standalone I can make standalone--mostly this works because all of my posts are under the word count limit so I have room to make necessary story adjustments. Given that, have any suggestions? Any funny stories you and I have that I've never written about?