I have but one resolution: to remember how old I am.
Sounds easy, right? For you, yes. For idiots like me, not so much. For the past five years or so (something like that anyway--years confuse me) I have not been able to produce my age when asked. When I do blurt out an age, it's always off by a year or two, hence why I usually just avoid that pothole.
Questioner: And how old are you ma'am?
Me: [blank stare]
Q: Your age?
Me: Uh...lemme think a minute.
Q: [incredulous glare]
Me: JUST GIMME A MINUTE. [fruitless pause] Do you have a calculator?
I usually wind up throwing out my birth year and making them do the math on their own. And then they usually tell me my age as a kindness.
Remember when you were a kid and your age was everything? You weren't just 7, you were 7 5/8. You were 9 in 34 days and two hours and 15 minutes. Now I couldn't tell you how many months/days until my birthday if you paid me. I don't even remember my birthday's approaching half the time. Fun fact: my brother and I share a birthday. I remember either his birthday or mine, but never at the same time. My friend, Misty, has to email me a week in advance every year (which she does, the dear) to remind me my brother's birthday is coming up. What I'm saying is, it's all very sad.
I tried to think how old I am just now and I failed by a year. Resolution success already!