06 January 2010

The Age-old Question

If there's one thing you know I am, it's a follower! So the fact that everyone else is making resolutions this week, despite the fact that resolutions repel me, I will indeed jump on the bandwagon.

I have but one resolution: to remember how old I am.

Sounds easy, right? For you, yes. For idiots like me, not so much. For the past five years or so (something like that anyway--years confuse me) I have not been able to produce my age when asked. When I do blurt out an age, it's always off by a year or two, hence why I usually just avoid that pothole.

Questioner: And how old are you ma'am?
Me: [blank stare]
Q: Your age?
Me: Uh...lemme think a minute.
Q: [incredulous glare]
Me: JUST GIMME A MINUTE. [fruitless pause] Do you have a calculator?

I usually wind up throwing out my birth year and making them do the math on their own. And then they usually tell me my age as a kindness.

Remember when you were a kid and your age was everything? You weren't just 7, you were 7 5/8. You were 9 in 34 days and two hours and 15 minutes. Now I couldn't tell you how many months/days until my birthday if you paid me. I don't even remember my birthday's approaching half the time. Fun fact: my brother and I share a birthday. I remember either his birthday or mine, but never at the same time. My friend, Misty, has to email me a week in advance every year (which she does, the dear) to remind me my brother's birthday is coming up. What I'm saying is, it's all very sad.

I tried to think how old I am just now and I failed by a year. Resolution success already!


Heidi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi said...

Yeah, I can't remember your age either.

I have to work out my own age (no easy feat), and then if it happens to be your b-day, I know you're turning the same age I already am. If I remember my right age.

Fortunately, my children have now gotten old enough to remember for me. Since I just had a birthday, I now have both Jared and Marianne constantly reminding me how old I am. You just need to get Peawhistle focused on your age, and you'll be able to keep your resolution easily!

Janie said...

not lying I asked kyle twice this morning how old I was.

I didn't believe him the first time.

but darn it he was right.

When I went to the hospital to have Maiya they asked me at the desk and it went like this:

27? I mean 29... I dunno I was born in 77, what month is it now? where is my husband? he can tell you.


hey there you are....
they want to know how old I am.

during each pause in contractions of that labor we laughed wondering if all the nurses thought I was slow.

But when I was four I got lost in the mall. My mom thought my grandmother had me, My grandmother thought my mom had me and they split up to meet for lunch. Lo and behold they met up for lunch with no kid in tow.

I was hanging out with a cashier in Sears. My mom knew immediately when they called over the loud speaker
"we have a lost little girl with curly hair. She is four and half years old."

I never missed that "and a half" part. But I wouldn't tell the lady my name because that would have been talking to strangers.

Jody said...

You are definitely not alone. I was asked this past month my age--and I realized later that night that I was off by a year.

I just asked Evelyn how old I am and she replied, "Did you forget????" She then promptly gave me my age. I guess I'll have to keep her around....

greta said...

oh my gosh. i do that too! i really thought i was the only one. i stopped counting after 25 years old. i now just say 32. which i'm not as M has informed me. but in my mind i'll eventually be 32 so whatever. good luck with your resolution. i'm to lazy to make resolutions....

Ryann said...

Love it! I know how old you are-a year older than me! Bet that will really help you now:)

Holly said...

I got lucky and was born in an even year (80) so it makes the math a little easier. Maybe you should make yourself a bracelet with your age on it....thus removing the need for any on the spot mathematics.

paws said...

I have that same problem.

elesa said...

Ha! "The Age-Old Question". Pure genius!

Almost all year long I have been thinking that I am 32. I only just realized that I am only 31. It is like adding a year to my life. Who cares about eating healthy to prolong life. Forgetfulness works just as well!

Stephanie B said...

8 months till your birthday - just fyi. Also, I cry a little bit inside everytime I have to say 30. I soooo want to be in my twenties.

Benteti5 said...

That's a lame resolution and it doesn't count. Who wants to remember their age anyways? Let's just forget it permanently. But if that's the only thing you can think of to improve upon during the coming year, then hot dang, you're way ahead of me.