19 December 2007
We here in the United States of Awesome are free to name our children any completely ludicrous and asinine thing we see fit. Why aren't more parents here thanking their lucky stars? By gosh, we could be living under the totalitarian, fascist society of Italy where courts can legally prevent you from naming your baby something stupid and negatively life-altering. An article published today by the AP details an Italian couple who were stopped by courts from naming their boy after Robinson Crusoe's companion, Friday, because "they thought that it recalled the figure of a savage, thus creating a sense of inferiority and failing to guarantee the boy the necessary decorum." See, "ridiculous or shameful" names are illegal in Italy and vital records personnel are required to report names for review that they suspect may fall into that category (Rizzo, AP). Also, apperently if you don't go along with this and rename your kid something acceptable (or perhaps you've proven yourself incapable of selecting fit names for other humans so you're stripped of your privilege to do so entirely), the courts will name your child for you.
I can't comprehend a law like that EVER flying in the US, but it sure would be nice, wouldn't it? Then we wouldn't have to live with people named Ketchup, Seven, Spot, or La-Ciir'styyne''. You know those people.