29 April 2010

It's Not Easy Being Green

So while we're blabbing about Peawhistle, I figured I'd talk about her views on the supernatural. Now, I'm not a big fan of terrifying my children unnecessarily. Other people's kid, yeah, but not my own. I have to live with them after all. I still recall the many weeks when PW started getting out of bed at night because she was scared giants were going to come crashing through her window. It took many explanations to get her to believe that giants (as those in her imagination) do not exist outside storybooks. This is also why I've very strenuously asserted that things like ghosts, witches, vampires, etc. do not exist. I'm not prepared to get into a discussion about Wicca or modern-day vampire wanna-bes with a six-year-old, so I've just decided to make things simple by telling her they're all make-believe. She's on board with this and often remarks about how none of these things exist, hence why she thinks they're funny.

Not long after St. Patrick's Day, PW informed me that she thinks St. Patrick's Day is a stupid holiday. I asked why (before it was because she wanted a holiday named after her instead) and she said it's because she thinks St. Patrick was a leprechaun and she doesn't believe in leprechauns. This, coming from the kid who is all about living the Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy lie. I explained who St. Patrick was, that he did indeed exist, and why the Irish/Catholics felt it necessary to give him a holiday. She was only vaguely satisfied with this, but she still clearly resents the whole affair.

PW just recently told me that she does not believe in elves. Not the wood-sprite kinda elves, but Santa's elves. Remember, she is an ardent supporter of Santa himself, but his elves? Screw them. They're not real. I asked her where the toys come from and she said they came from a factory, with a "Duh!" look on her face. You know, Santa's Factory, where Canadian minimum-wage workers crank out her favorite toys in between smoke breaks and quittin' time.

So let's review:

Santa Claus: real
elves: fake
Easter Bunny: real
Tooth Fairy: real
ghosts: fake
witches: fake
vampires: fake
leprechauns: fake
giants: ?
Saint Patrick: fake

So...anybody who willingly forks over toys, candy, or cash has to be the real thing. Everybody else can just go to hell. Fair enough.


greta said...

wow. that's pretty awesome. i see a long future ahead of bribs and gift giving for her to accomplish anything. a girl after my own heart :)

Holly said...

You just made my day. Canadians and their smoke breaks. Hah!

it's just lisa said...

I owe you one! I needed to kill some time while I wait around and your blog was just the ticket.

Heidi said...

Well, sounds pretty practical. I wonder how long she'll keep "believing" in the candy/money/toy bringers (probably as long as she can, just to keep the goodies coming.)

Marianne might be about to give up on the tooth fairy though. Last night the tooth fairy forgot to come get her tooth for the fifth time.

Kleanteeth said...

It's a quid pro quo belief. My kids ruled out the tooth fairy after they asked what the tooth fairy does with all those teeth. I told them that she grinds them up and that's what fairies use for pixie dust. They just thought that was nasty and said it was o.k., the tooth fairy could skip our house. No complaints here.

elesa said...

That is the same basis I use to decide who I like and who I don't.

Ryann said...

Sounds like she is growing up to be very much like her mother:)

Leslie Green said...

She's so pragmatic!! Wonderful! And such a sweetheart!!

Stephanie B said...

Dear, Abby, you are always good for a laugh.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

That is freakin' hilarious!

Gen C said...

FACT: ALL Irish people are leprechauns. ALL of them.